I have a confession.
I have writers block. Right now, I dunno if I'll come out of it, frankly, I dunno if I want to.
In all honesty I am just tired of being what seems a never winning battle. I am a Jalice fan, I can count on two hands how many good Jalice fics there are. I have two of those. I mean I love my own work, but why can't others write some Jalice? Don't point me in the direction of Jasper/Bella, I know there's lots of good Jasper/Bella, I have reciently became very ANTI-that pairing mainly because of the lack of options Jalice wise. And since I have researched cannon Jasper, Sorry, no way in hell cannon Jasper would go for Bella. Any Bella. I guess that added to my animosity.
What's the point of writing good Jasper/Alice if no one else is? Maybe I should lie down and step out of the fandom. They have fantastic Harry Potter fanfiction.
I seriously have almost gotten to the point that my first love is gone, I can't bring myself to write, not even my own personal story. And it's been all this week. People just kept pushing me and pushing me and now I am sitting here like "Why am I doing this?"
Add that to a personal fight, all the stress I am under, a fight with a friend, a bad review (yes I fucking know that is was just one review) and an apparent Anti-Alice ralley in the name of the "For the Love of Jasper" contest, I am *holds fingers really close together* this close to done.
I have confessed all this to K already. I feel badly, but I know that if I stop writing so does she. We're partners in crime, twins, soulmates and honestly as corny as it sounds she is my other half writing wise. We make up for what the other lacks. We work together perfectly and it's honestly one of the best things ever. K and a few select others is what is keeping me going right now.I don't want to take this away from her, up until about a week and a half ago this was one of the best things I have ever done and I was happy.
I think I need love, encouragement or something. And I need it in droves.
Aww Robs! *hugs* I am soo sorry hun! I really, am truly sorry! I know I may not be the best person to say this but, know I would never bullshit you! (I just don't bullshit for the sake of makin people feel better) Your and K's stories are amazing, and yes there maybe few Jalice stories out there, but amazing stories like yours encourages people to write! I swear, and I think that if you continue, which I know may suck, you will see the Jalice fan's come out of the woodwork! I can't imagine you and K not writing! You are so fucking awesome, please don't stop! I love your stories! Show the fandom what they are missing out on and encourage people (because like I said, your stories do - probably more then you know) to write Jalice! I love you Robs and I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time and such a shitty week! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteLove - Jess
*hugs* I'm sorry you're so down, Robs. Truth be told, I'm pretty damn anti-Jasper/Bella (I hate writing that) myself. Ask Jess. lol. But I'll confess, my plans for the For the Love of Jasper contest thus far ARE Jasper/Bella... but only to knock the pants off a certain fan of that pairing... not that I want into her pants... But I digress.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm trying and failing miserably to say is, don't give up on all this just because others aren't writing it. You write incredible Jalice fics. I want to say I'd be lost without them, but let's face it, I've been shit as a fan recently and haven't even found the time to read and review my two favorite Jalice stories (Okay, three, since I also haven't checked out Tie Me Down to This World in ages). But again, I'm digressing, and the point is, you rock the socks of a ridiculous amount of this fandom. Just because the greatest pairing in the Twiverse or whateverthefuck we're calling it nowadays isn't getting the attention it deserves is no reason to take away what attention it DOES get. Stand by your man (and his woman), bb! And give it time. The fandom does things in waves. Right now, we're riding the tail end of the D/s wave and seem to be catching the slashfic wave. Give it time and there'll be such a Jalice wave you'll be sick of hearing about them. BUT, with that wave comes a ton of new fans. Fans who will talk so incessantly about your writing -- the veritable start of the Jalice movement -- so much you'll want to write E/B or Em/R just to make them shut up.
Oh, and if it helps any, once I have time on my hands again, the Jalice gloves come the fuck off. I've got quite a few stories up my sleeves and I am NOT backing off our favorite pairing. *stamps foot* Are you with me or what, bb? I sure hope so.
I can't promise the shitty week will end or that life will stop sucking - ask Jess, I bitch enough about my own life lately for me to think all life sucks - but I can promise you no matter what, no matter how shitty things get, I'm here for you whenever you need me. Sure, I can't be way out yonder in your weird square state with you, but I'm as there for you as I can be from my own weird I Know What You Did Last Summer hand-hook-thing shaped state.
Much love and many hugs.
Kim
Hi Robs~
ReplyDeleteI can't help but feel somewhat at fault for this particular blog post and that makes me sad. Because of that I was hesitant to leave you a comment knowing that I am probably one of the last people that you want to hear from on this particular matter.
I sincerely agree with Jess that you and Kristin inspire people to write Jalice fics. I know that if it werent for OMS or DaS, the idea for Hellion never would have even came into my head. It is also intimidating to write Jalice since I cant even compete on the same level as you two, but I tried my hardest to add to the Jalice collection. I also believe that the Jalice trend is on the rise. If you look at some of the social forums that are around right now. When people arent talking about E/B, or slash, the next topic is usually Jalice.
Maybe you are just burned out and need a break. You and K have been go, go, go at least once a week since the beginning of OMS. Then you have Das, and soon you will have TR, and GP, and JF is thrown in the mix somewhere too. Holy Cow woman! Just half of those things would drive any person bonkers and to frustration.
I believe you should write for you. Do what makes you happy. Even if writing doesnt make you happy now, maybe a small break from it would help. I think you may just be overwhelmed with everything going on so every little piece of straw just adds to the pile breaking the camel's back. I'm not sure if I got that saying right, but I'm sure you get what I mean.
I sincerely hope you dont decide that quitting entirely is the right move for you, but if it is I hope you know that I love you and stand behind you in whatever decision you may make. It can be really hard to write when it seems like everything seems so wrong. Take me as an example two weeks ago. You know how hard that week was for me, and my friends, you included, helped me through it when I was at my wits end and just wanted to give up on everything.
I just wanted you to know I am truly sorry for just adding to what has been a shitty week for you, and you have my love and support always.
Also, just think...the Jalice fandom cant be as small as Jacob and the devil spawn! HAHAHA. That was my sorry ass attempt to cheer you up. Maybe it worked just a little? If it just brought a small little smile to your lips or a tiny chuckle, then I did my job.
Let me know if there is anything I can do for you hun. I'm always around for whatever you need.
*XoXoX*
~Anna
Robs!!! Awe hun, so much love to you right now! *hugs* You sound so down! =(
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I get what you're saying about everythingggg. It IS really hard to find good a/j these days, but that is why I turn to you! I so look forward to Tuesday nights because I know it means a good read from you and K in the form of DaS. You both are so talented and so down to earth when writing... it's a breath of fresh air to read your work! Believe it or not, you really do inspire with your writing.
Pressure can be so rough. And writing is just NOT fun anymore when it starts to give you crazy deadlines and stress. Please don't overwork, trying to stay on track. I think everyone would be okay if you two had to skip a week, or delay a few days, or ANYTHING... you've got to look out for your well being! Your writing will reflect what you're feeling. If you're not feeling the whole 'writing' thing, step away from it and do something else for a few hours and then try again. If you're still not feeling it, take the night off. Relax. Do something else that you love. Tomorrow is another day and another chance at getting something out of that dreadful writer's block!
But please please please... don't stress out. "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent"... and if you stopped writing entirely, it would be a terrible waste of your talent. And of yours and K's together. Maybe you just need a small break to clear your head before you can start writing hardcore again. I think that happens sometimes... and it's totally okay. But I will beg you for as long as it takes... please don't give up just yet. Because you seriously have amazing writing skills. [And I'll admit-- I've loved every word of DaS so far, and I'd be so sad to see it just...stop. You both have a great start at it...]
Overall... we are just so privileged to read your writing. And you and K together really are two halves of the same whole writing wise. You are amazing and original and fresh and inspiring and phenomenal and devoted and creative and funny and heartbreaking and UNIQUE with all of your writing...
Take all the time you need, don't give up, and just take a breath. You'll get past this feeling, hun. I promise.
And that is the best love/encouragement that I can give to you. And I mean every word of it.
Feel free to PM if you need anything. Or more encouraging words... I'd give them to you in a heartbeat.
-Lucy Alyce
Well.... You know how I feel....
ReplyDeletePlease don't stop writing Jalice fics!!! I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't have your stories to read anymore!!!
ReplyDeleteOK I know on my fanfic site, I said I'm planning on writing a Jalice story, truth is I feel so intimidated and don't know where to start. I really do want to write one though. I actually did a chapter cos there's a Jalice fanfic out there that I was waiting for FOREVER to update, but it's taking soooo long, that I went ahead and wrote what I thought would happen next, just for my own benefit. I can't post that tho, and other than writing that, I'm stuck.
But I really do want to concentrate on writing one. I just need inspiration to hit. Maybe you could give me some suggestions?